Schools are human ecosystems full of all the complexities, uncertainties, wonder, pain and joy that comes with living a human life. As we begin a busy year ahead, it is worth remembering that education and leadership are deeply human, and that it is a privilege to be with people in conversation, and to sit with them and share in their human experience.

Today a colleague and I presented to leaders in roles across the school on leading teams through intentional conversations, including coaching and more direct ‘difficult’ conversations. While we focused on conversations with colleagues, much of the discussion was also relevant to all sorts of potential conversations in all sorts of contexts. Below are some reflections on what was presented and discussed.

Leading teams is more than administration and organisation. It involves working alongside people and seeking to understand the needs of each person in the team: their goals, aspirations, challenges, and areas of growth. It means regular, meaningful check ins with each member of the team, creating a safe and non-judgmental space for team members, and balancing this with clear expectations and accountabilities.

High performing teams take shared responsibility for their shared purpose. They think of the work as ‘our work’ that can be collaboratively achieved, focusing on ‘together we can’, rather than ‘that’s not my job’ or what Jan Robertson calls ‘climates of dependency’ in which staff wait for leaders to tell them what to do.. High performing teams embody positive cultures of collaboration. They focus their energies on supporting and growing people, not on setting up internal competition or a deficit view in which people need surveilling and ‘fixing’. In high performing teams, it is understood that everyone deserves the opportunity to learn and improve, supported by clear expectations, shared vision, open communication, and effective feedback practices. Members are able to gracefully disagree and engage in robust, respectful discussion. They are additionally able to leave any discussion as a united team, even when a decision has not gone the way of an individual or small group.

Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey refer to the concept of ‘semantic space’; the language-rich environment embedded in organisations. The semantic space of a workplace is ‘how we talk around here’: what we talk about, how we speak to one another, what kinds of language we use, what kinds of questions we ask, and how we respond when approached for a conversation.

It is always worth asking: How DO we talk around here? And then, how COULD we talk around here that might have more positive, productive outcomes for those in our care and community? How might we engage in professional conversations that are both compassionate and rigorous? In which we seek to listen and understand before telling or judging? In which we balance support and accountability, administration and leadership?

People are at their best when they have autonomy, feel their work has meaning, feel they have impact and influence, and have the efficacy to do their job. We can develop our teams by being intentional about the kinds of conversations we have to support and develop team members. Candi McKay describes schools as places where reflection on practice and collegial conversations should be viewed as opportunities to grow and learn, and where staff should expect to be engaging in thoughtful conversations and relying on their leaders to listen and ask questions that push at the margins of their capacity.

Considering the semantic space of our organisations includes considering organisational trust, and how we might foster a psychologically safe space for staff, in which it is ok to take risks, be vulnerable and reflect honestly. This includes inviting and listening to a range of feedback and providing confidential, non-judgmental spaces for staff to reflect on practice and generate ways to approach problems.

There is a place for coaching as a vehicle for staff to develop autonomy and self-directedness. John Whitmore famously defined coaching as “unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.” In my book, Transformational Professional Learning, I define coaching as a collaborative process by which a coach acts as mediator, mirror, and conduit for the coachee’s own thinking, in order to develop self-directedness and self-efficacy, and to move the coachee towards an improvement or solution that is owned by them.

Coaching takes an investment in time and involves really listening to the other person, being in their service in the conversation, being present, and seeking to listen to understand. The tools of coaching include pausing to allow the other person to continue their train of thought. In Cognitive Coaching we are asked to ‘set aside’ our own conversational needs by refraining from autobiographical (‘me, too!’), inquisitive (‘tell me more about’), and solutions-giving (‘I’ve got an answer for you’) talk. Paraphrasing allows the coach to check in with the person to help them clarify their thought, problem, goal or solution. Questions begin with ‘what’ or ‘how’ and use plural forms and tentative language. What strategies could you implement? What options might be available to you? Taking a coaching approach to a conversation assumes that the coachee knows more about their own situation than the coach does, that everyone has the capacity to learn and grow, and that we all have the capacity to solve their own problems.

Of course, there are times for mentoring conversations, or performance-based conversations, or direct conversations in which an issue must be addressed. Once we know what kinds of conversation are available to us, we are empowered to ask for what we need. For example, we might say, “I am not sure what to do in this situation, and I would really appreciate you listening to help me talk through it,” or “I am stuck and am looking for some advice and wise counsel to help me move forward.” When someone comes to a leader for a conversation, they can ask, “How can I be of support to you in this conversation?”

We talked in today’s session about the need for compassion in conversation, of pre-supposing the best of people, of rehearsing tricky conversations with a trusted colleague, and of being fully present in our professional interactions.

Rather than seeing conversations or pop-ins as an interruption to our to-do list, we can remind ourselves that, as Rachel Lofthouse has said: ‘The talk is the work’. To support others through intentional conversation is a gift.